Negative energy is just one of those things in life that we can do without – it keeps us from our happiness and steals our peace of mind.

We all have those things that are a constant source of negative energy in our lives– sometimes it’s people, sometimes it’s situations, and sometimes it’s things.

I’d like to share a 4-step process I’ve put in place to remove a lot of the negative energy from my life. And it’s definitely working!

Step 1: Pay close attention to your feelings at all times. Every time you notice the grungies, take a minute to identify the source of that negative energy – Is it a specific situation, is something broken, is it being around a specific person?

We’ve all seen it on TV – a sports star who can’t hit a baseball to save his life or a tennis star who struggles to win a match.

Just like superstars can fall into a slump, so can our kids. And it can be heartbreaking to watch. The good news is that 95% of slumps are mental and kids can pull themselves out of it with help from a supportive parent or mentor like you. But it is important that you act fast so that negative beliefs don’t set in.

First, let’s talk about what causes a slump.

Did you know that teaching your kids how to make chocolate chip cookies can build self-confidence?

That’s right. Any time your kids have an opportunity to learn something new and to create something exciting it builds self-confidence. And what can be more exciting for a young child than chocolate chip cookies!

Many people don’t realize that self-confidence is a skill that can be developed. One of the best ways to help kids build self-confidence is to give them opportunities to learn something new – to challenge themselves and stretch outside of their comfort zone. Succeeding at something new leads to a sense of accomplishment which, in turn, builds self- confidence.

Give your children as many opportunities to be successful as you can find. Start small with things like putting together a simple model, making a tie-dye t-shirt, and yes, making chocolate chip cookies. Even household activities such as raking the front lawn, folding their own laundry, and setting the table can build confidence.

Remember that success begets success. And it just might be yummy too.

“They grow up so fast!” We hear parents say this all of the time. And it’s true! My kiddos turned 10 this year and it’s amazing how fast the time has gone by.

My friends and I were discussing this the other day and decided we wanted to find ways to slow down time. Here’s what we came up with. I’d love to hear what you have to add!

First, be present! Take time to really be with your kids and appreciate the moments you have together. For most Moms, the “to do” list likes to creep into our heads. But if you can write them down and keep them at bay for a while, it can really help you enjoy the time you have with your kids.

Second, take pictures and capture the memories. I love having an iPhone – I capture so many fun moments that I wouldn’t have captured in the past because I rarely carried a camera with me (P.S. It’s great for sending photos to grandparents via email or text as well!). One of my friends loves to scrap book so she’s put her photos and notes in a scrap book for each year. I like this idea!

Third, look for opportunities to create memories. This is something I tell myself often. Work will always be there. Housework will always be there. But opportunities to create fabulous memories won’t. Take a few hours off and go play putt putt!

Fourth, cherish each age. Each age brings gifts and adventures. Don’t be in a hurry for them to grow up…AND…let them grow up. After all, that’s the cycle of life.

I hope some of these tips help you slow down time a bit. I’d love to hear what you have to add. Please share your ideas below!

Have you ever wondered why children often shift from believing they can do anything at the age of four to becoming afraid to take risks by the age of 8?

Developing a fear of failure is common during the elementary school years as kids often face their first disappointments – not doing well on a test, striking out with the bases loaded, not winning a competition, etc.

Here are two common reasons children may develop a fear of failure and how you can help them avoid these pitfalls.

1. Fitting in. When children fail, one of their biggest fears is being branded a “loser” or being teased by other children.

Teaching your children how to treat themselves when they experience failure can teach other children how to treat them as well.

For example, if your child “beats himself up” with words like, “I’m such a loser” or “I’m such a failure” other children might respond in the same way. But if he handles failure with confidence, using statements such as “Man that didn’t work – I’m not going to do that next time” or “Boy I goofed that one – I’ll do better next time” other children will be less likely to criticize him.

2. Disappointing grownups. Children also don’t want to disappoint the grownups in their lives – especially those they look up to such as parents, teachers, and coaches. Need for approval is a strong driver for young children.

How you respond to failure – both your own failures and theirs, will have a huge impact on how they respond to failure. If children see you beat yourself up when you make a mistake, they will think that they should respond the same way. On the other hand, if they see you manage your failures in a way that makes you stronger, they will see that disappointments and failures aren’t the end of the world.

How you respond to their disappointments and failures is also critical. If you get down on them, ground them, or yell at them for not doing well, they may become afraid of failing for fear of getting in trouble again. A more effective strategy is to let them deal with the natural consequences of the situation while you coach them through it. Help them see the failure as an event and not who they are. Then work with them to learn from it and let it go.

See the article, Disappointments Stink! Unless You Know How to Learn from Them and Let Them Go, for more tips on how to do this.

Disappointments stink! Unfortunately they are a part of life that no one can avoid so learning how to handle disappointments is an important skill for your kids to develop.

Sometimes when children (and even grownups) fail at something, they label themselves a “failure”. Labels can have a devastating impact on both their self-esteem and their self-confidence.

To keep this from happening, teach your children this 3 step process to develop a mindset for handling disappointment:

First teach your kids how to separate the disappointment from “who they are” by choosing how they talk about the disappointment. Let me explain what I mean by that. When your children face a disappointment, the disappointment is just an event. The event becomes an extension of who they are when they use terms such as “I failed” or “I’m a failure”. These words create the label that we just talked about. Instead, teach kids to talk about the event as something separate from who they are. For example, if your daughter failed a math test, instead of saying, “I failed”, she can say something like, “I received an F on the math test.” Do you hear how the first statement is a label while the second statement describes an event?

Second, turn the disappointment into an opportunity to learn. Assess the situation and figure out what went wrong. If your daughter failed a test was it because she didn’t understand the material? Did she study the wrong thing? If your son didn’t make the baseball team was it because he didn’t hit well? Was his fielding off that day? Understanding what went wrong will enable your kids to learn from the disappointment and develop a plan to do better next time.

Third, encourage your kids to “let it go”. Hanging onto the disappointment only creates negative energy and keeps kids stuck in the past. Encourage them to honor the experience for what they’ve learned and focus on what they want to create in their future.

Remember that we all face disappointments – they’re a part of life. The good news is that we get to choose how we think about those disappointments so they have a positive impact on our lives.

If you’d like to go deeper with your kids, review skill books 15 (Self-talk), 23 (Managing Mistakes), and 25 (Moving Past Failure).

This is a powerful quote from Wayne Gretzky, one of the most famous and highest-scoring professional hockey players of all time.

It is also a very powerful lesson to share with your kids.

So many people, kids and grownups, let their dreams stay on their “wish list” instead of putting them on their “to do” list – leaving them there to die as the years slip by.

But that doesn’t have to happen! Here are three common “stoppers” that keep people from taking that first step and what you can do to break through those stoppers today (hint – mindset is the key).

1. Conditional thinking. Conditional thinking occurs when you think something must happen before you can take a step. It can be spotted by the key word “if” followed by the word “then”.

For example, a child might say, “If I were taller, then I’d try out for the basketball team.” A grownup might say, “If I had more money, then I would start a business.” The thing is…these are just circumstances. Even if circumstances can’t be changed (i.e. the child’s current height) they can be managed. For example, the child could focus on her shooting and free throws so that coaches notice her shooting and not her height. The grownup could look for ways to start a business while working at his current job. Or, he might be able to partner with someone to get the business off the ground.

When you spot conditional thinking in either yourself or in your children, ask the question, “How can I make this happen?” The question, “How can I…” will get both your conscious mind and your subconscious mind working to solve the problem for you!

2. Fear. Fear of the unknown often keeps people from taking that first step.

Remember that most people feel fear, or nervousness, before doing something new because they don’t have neural pathways about the new experience. To lessen the fear, learn as much as you can about the change you want to make. Start visualizing yourself in the new situation so you can build neural pathways for success.

The only way to make the fear go away is to take action. Step through the fear and into possibility.

3. Lack of knowledge. Another common road block is that people don’t know how to make their dream come true.

If your dream is something that someone has done before, reach out to them and ask them how they did it. Find a mentor who can coach you along the way. You can also take steps to acquire the knowledge that will move you in the direction of your dream – read a book, take a class, listen to the experts, etc. Build your plan of action and take that first step.

If it is something that someone hasn’t done before, spend extra time visualizing what you want to create in your life. Take any step you can towards that direction (i.e. is there a skill you can build) and then pay attention. The Universe will deliver the “how” to you if you truly believe in your dream (more about that when we talk about The Law of Attraction).

So how can you use this knowledge? I’d like to invite you to do two things:

• First, write down your dreams. Are any of these stoppers getting in your way? Identify steps you can take to move your dream from your “wish list” to the top of your “to do” list and take that first step.

• Second, ask your kids about their dreams. If you hear any of these stoppers, share these tips with them and help them form a plan of action. If you’d like to go deeper, check out skill books #24, 27 on overcoming fear and beating conditional thinking (share the stories “The Knight and Three Dragons” and “If Then Ben”).

Finally, always remember the words of Wayne Gretzky, “You will always miss 100% of the shots you never take.” Take that shot today – you just might score big!