Help! My kids is in a slump. How do I help?
We’ve all seen it on TV – a sports star who can’t hit a baseball to save his life or a tennis star who struggles to win a match.
Just like superstars can fall into a slump, so can our kids. And it can be heartbreaking to watch.
The good news is that 95% of slumps are mental and kids can pull themselves out of it with help from a supportive parent or mentor like you. But it is important that you act fast so that negative beliefs don’t set in.
First, let’s talk about what causes a slump
A slump is usually triggered by two or more unsuccessful events that take place within a short period of time. A thought then enters the child’s mind: “What if I’ve lost my touch…. I’m going to lose my position…. I’m going to fail this class…. My parents are going to be mad at me…. The other kids are going to laugh at me….”, etc.
As the fear creeps in, it breeds more fear – triggering negative self-talk. If not corrected quickly, negative self-talk can create a negative belief which can be detrimental to the child.
If your child falls into a slump, it is critical that you don’t criticize or punish him for not doing well (he is already doing that to himself). Instead, provide support, encouragement, and share these six tips.
Six steps to help when your kid is in a slump!
1. First, discuss the situation with your child. Sometimes just talking about their fears will help calm their fears or even release those fears. Let your child know that slumps can happen to anyone and that he can pull himself out of it with a few simple steps.
2. Next, teach your child how to separate results from who he is. Children often define themselves based on the results they achieve. This can have a detrimental impact on both their self-esteem and their self-confidence. Failing a test doesn’t mean you’re a failure. This is a very important distinction for children to understand and an important skill to develop.
3. Third, take action. Figure out what is not working. Work with your child to develop a plan to correct the problem. For example, if she is struggling with writing, have her ask the teacher for extra help or hire a tutor. If she is struggling with hitting, take her to the batting cage so she can work on her swing.
4. Fourth, figure out what IS working. Help your child balance her energy focus. Sometimes a slump can be all-consuming. For example, a child might become overwhelmed with how bad she’s doing in History and forget that she is thriving in Math, Literature, Science, sports, friendships, etc.
5. Fifth, help your child with the core mindset skills of positive self-talk, visualization, and affirmations. It is critical that your child remembers to focus on what she wants, not on what she doesn’t want. If she’s in a hitting slump, encourage her to visualize a hit before stepping up to the plate, and to tell herself, “I’m a hitter!” before the pitcher starts her windup.
6. Finally, invite her to look at her Victory Board every day to remind her of her past successes. She will be successful again.
So hopefully this is an article that you don’t have to use any time soon; but, if a slump hits, let your child know that you have a slump-slaying process that will help him slay those dragons and get his groove back again.
So hopefully this is an article that you don’t have to use any time soon; but, if a slump hits, let your child know that you have a slump-slaying process that will help him slay those dragons and get his groove back again.
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