You may have heard statements like these before…
- As soon as I have more money…
- As soon as I have more time…
- As soon as I’m a little older…
then I’ll go for my goal!
When deciding the “perfect time” to go for your goal… you must look out for a sneaky dream-stealer called “conditional thinking”.
Conditional thinking occurs when you think that something must happen before you go for your goal.
To spot conditional thinking, listen for the words, “if” followed by “then” (you may also hear the words “when” followed by “then”.)
Here are some more specific examples:
- “If my boss wasn’t such a jerk, then I’d enjoy my job.”
- “When I lose 10 pounds, then I’ll buy new clothes.”
- “If I was younger, then I would start a business.”
- “If I was older, then I would start a business.”
The problem with conditional thinking is that you become a victim to your circumstances or limiting beliefs versus standing in your power to create what you really want in your life.
You see, the secret to creating what you really want is to declare your dreams based on what you truly want in life, and then managing away the circumstances.
The mistake that most people make is that they look at their current circumstances and then whittle down their dreams down to fit within those constraints.
So how can you break up conditional thinking?
- The first step is to recognize it is happening and to challenge the thought, statement, or belief. Are you really too old to start a business? Mary Kay Ash started her company, Mary Kay Cosmetics, when she was 50 years old!
- The second step is to take action − even if it’s just one small step in the direction of your goal. Action puts a “stake in the ground” and lets the universe know that you are serious about achieving that goal. It also triggers the reticular activating system of your brain to look out for anything that can help you achieve that goal.
- And the third step is to reprogram your self-talk. Reframe the conditional thinking into an affirmation that works for you. Instead of saying “I’m too old to go back to school.” You could say, “I’m a lifelong learner, and I’m taking action on my next big dream.” (By the way, if you’re 40 years old today… in 4 years you’re going to be 44. You can either be 44 years old with a college degree or 44 years old without one… time is going to pass either way.)
The perfect time to go for your goal is now… even if it just means taking a small step in the direction of that goal!
How to teach your kids about the dangers of conditional thinking.
When kids learn how to spot and shift conditional thinking, it will enable them to stand in their power and go for their goals versus becoming victim to current circumstances or limiting beliefs.
The way WISDOM Coaches teach kids about conditional thinking is with a fun coaching story called “If Then Ben”, where Beaver Ben learns that happiness comes from within and is not a condition of what he has or doesn’t have.
Kids learn the key phrases for spotting conditional thinking – “If…then…” and “When…then…”
If you hear a child (or yourself) saying, “If…then…”, catch it and ask:
- “How can you Power Shift that conditional thinking?”
- “What would this look like if you put on your Power Goggles?”
Examples of what might this look like for a child?
EXAMPLE: “If Mom would let me watch TV, then I wouldn’t be bored.”
What can the child NOT control? The rules about watching TV.
What CAN the child control? Their mood.
What might you ask? “Are there other things you can do so you won’t be bored?”
What can they/you do? Brainstorm ideas together: read a book, play with a friend, do a puzzle, draw a picture, listen to music, play a game, do an artwork, run around the yard, etc.
EXAMPLE: “If I was taller, then I would try out for the basketball team.”
What can the child NOT control? Their height.
What CAN the child control? Their belief. What they do.
What might you ask? “Are there successful basketball players who aren’t tall? What makes them great? Can you develop those skills too?
What can they/you do? Research successful short basketball players to be inspired by. Chooose skills to practice. Try out for the team!
Love your life as a life coach for kids
The WISDOM Coach® Certification program is designed to help you create a business you love as a life coach for kids! To learn more about life coaching kids, click here.
Find a WISDOM Coach for your child
To find a certified WISDOM Coach for your child, click here.
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Adventure well, my friend!
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