When seven-year-old “Mary” began WISDOM Coaching, anxiety was affecting many parts of her everyday life.
For nearly three years, Mary had been afraid to go to the bathroom by herself after being frightened by a spider in the commode when she was four. She was also anxious about going to the movie theatre, struggled with separating from her dad at school drop-off, and was waking several times during the night—disrupting sleep for the whole family.
Even experiences that could have been exciting were becoming sources of worry. Mary was nervous about an upcoming family ski trip overseas and distressed about a change in her Year 2 teacher.
Her parents wanted to help her feel calmer and more confident. Most importantly, they wanted Mary to have tools she could use to manage fear, change, and new experiences throughout her life.
Helping Mary Understand How Her Mind Works
WISDOM Coach Karen Robertson recommended a 10-session, one-on-one “Empowering Mary” WISDOM Coaching program, meeting weekly in person.
Karen began with the core MindPower skills from the Adventures in Wisdom Life Coaching for Kids Curriculum. The goal was to give Mary a strong foundation for understanding how her mind works, why fear shows up, and how her thoughts can influence the way she feels and behaves.
Mary learned skills including how her mind shapes her world, the power of possibility, neural pathways, the Reticular Activating System, and Power Goggles®. Karen also worked with Mary on self-confidence, self-talk, managing fear, and managing change.
Sibling and family sessions were included as well, helping the family develop a shared language around some of the mindset skills Mary was learning.
One of Karen’s biggest priorities was helping Mary understand that while fear might show up, she could learn how to respond to it differently.
And one of the first big opportunities to put those new skills into practice involved the fear that had been with Mary for almost three years
“I Can Do It”
Mary had not gone to the bathroom independently since the frightening experience with the spider when she was four.
Karen worked with her on understanding how her mind shapes her world, how comfort zones work, and how neural pathways are created and strengthened.
They also worked on self-talk.
Using the mirror mantra “I can do it,” Karen and Mary role-played the steps together and helped Mary rehearse what it would look and feel like to face the fear.
Then Mary did it.
By her fourth coaching session, she was going to the bathroom independently.
And she never looked back.
For Karen, it remains one of the most meaningful accomplishments she has witnessed during her work as a WISDOM Coach.
Courage Began Showing Up Everywhere
The changes did not stop with the bathroom fear.
Mary went to the movie theatre to see the Mario movie—something she had previously been anxious about—and enjoyed it so much that she chose to go again.
She adjusted successfully to her new teacher.
She enjoyed the family ski trip overseas that she had once worried about.
At a jumping castle, Mary used her mindset skills to find the courage to take on a giant slide.
Her sleep improved.
The difficult school drop-offs resolved.
Little by little, situations that had once been controlled by fear became opportunities for Mary to practise confidence and courage.
A Transformation That Continued Long After Coaching
One of the most powerful parts of Mary’s story is that the changes lasted.
A year after coaching, her mum reported that Mary continued to go from strength to strength. She had recently performed a solo at a dance and singing concert, stepping onto a stage and performing by herself.
Two years later, the progress was even more remarkable.
Mary had been voted class captain and continued performing on stage. She also won a lead role in a regional performance, selected from more than 400 students.
The little girl who once struggled to separate from her dad at school and was frightened of everyday experiences was now standing in front of others, taking on leadership roles, performing, and believing in herself.
In Mary’s Words
Mary summed up what she had learned beautifully:
“I’m not so afraid anymore and learned that I can do it! I feel happy and love it all!”
What Mary’s Mum Said
Mary’s mother saw changes not only in the fears Mary overcame, but in her ability to manage her own thoughts and behaviour:
“She now has confidence to do things on her own, change her own behaviour, and think in a positive way. Results that are long-lasting and my daughter lights up when she gets to see Karen. Coaching has changed Mary’s (and our) life, we are so grateful.”
Coach Karen’s Reflection
Mary was only the second child Karen Robertson had ever coached.
For Karen, watching Mary’s transformation reinforced just how powerful the Adventures in Wisdom story-based curriculum and STORY Coaching Process can be when children are given the opportunity to truly understand and practise the skills.
It also taught Karen an important lesson she carried forward into her coaching work: the importance of creating a strong foundation with the MindPower skills.
Karen shared that understanding how her mind worked played a major role in Mary’s ability to manage her thoughts and emotions and understand why the mindset tools she was learning were effective.
That foundation helped make everything else possible.
Karen continues to stay in touch with Mary’s mum and has had the privilege of watching Mary continue to grow.
From overcoming a three-year fear to performing on stage, becoming class captain, and stepping confidently into new opportunities, Mary continues to show what can happen when a child learns to replace “I can’t” with “I can.”
Her fears did not have to define her future.
She learned how her mind works, developed tools for managing fear and change, and discovered something every child deserves to know:
“I can do it.”
Learn more about the 27 Mindset Skills children learn through Adventures in Wisdom
Download the list of 27 mindset skills:
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Adventure well, my friend!
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