I’m sure you’ve had an “Ah #!%@” moment – probably after messing something up…. Well our kids have them too.
The challenge with an “Ah #!%@” moment is that people often enter “panic mode” as they try to deal with the issue. The problem is…when you feel stressed and panicky, the logical reasoning part of your brain actually functions less effectively – making it very difficult to think straight.
That is why it is so important to have an “Ah #!%@” coach – someone you can turn to when you’ve messed up who can help you calm down, think straight, and put together a plan to handle the situation.
Our kids need someone too!
This article explains what makes an effective “Ah #!%@” coach. While many parents can be an effective “Ah #!%@” coach for their kids, some parents realize that an aunt or grandparent, a family friend or even a child life coach might be a more effective coach for their child.
Here are six characteristics of an effective “Ah #!%A” Coach:
1. First, a good “Ah #!%@” coach must provide a “safe space” for the truth.
Kids often hide the truth because they are afraid of getting in trouble. Let them know that when it comes to mistakes, you believe in accountability (taking care of the problem) versus punishment. Kids must be able to trust that they can come to you without being judged, lectured to, criticized, or punished.
2. Second, a good “Ah #!%@” coach must remain calm under stress.
If a child comes to you, it is important that you remain calm about the situation. This can help ease a child’s panic, calm them down, and help them shift back into thinking mode. Remind her that she just made a mistake – it’s an opportunity to fix it, learn from it and let it go.
3. Third, a good “Ah #!%@” coach helps brainstorm solutions.
As a child’s coach, help him brainstorm options for handling the situation so that he can handle it with responsibility and integrity. One important tip – once you’ve discussed the options together, let the child decide the best course of action. This helps him take ownership of the solution and helps him build confidence in his ability to make decisions. Your role is to provide encouragement and support.
4. Fourth, a good “Ah #!%@” coach is trustworthy.
It is important to build trust with the children in your life. If you say they won’t be punished for mistakes, then follow through on that promise. If they ask you to keep something confidential and you agree to that, then uphold that commitment. When children trust you to provide a safe place for them, they will come to you with their problems.
5. Fifth, a good “Ah #!%@” coach provides accountability – not rescue.
It is important that you let your kids manage their own problems. Learning how to manage mistakes empowers kids to be responsible for their actions. It also builds powerful self-confidence and enhances self-esteem as they learn they can handle anything that comes their way.
6. Finally, a good “Ah #!%@” coach turns the situation into a learning opportunity.
Once the mistake has been managed, sit down with your child to discuss what happened and what he learned from it. This will support him in doing things differently in the future. Also discuss the importance of letting it go. Let him know that “we are not our mistakes and hanging onto them doesn’t serve us”. Remind him that when he makes a mistake to “learn from it and let it go”.
If you’d like an “Ah #!%@” coach for children in your life, you have a few options:
If you’d like an “Ah #!%@” Coach for the children in your life, you have a few options:
1. Do you want to be the “Ah #!%@” coach” for kids in your life? We recommend two things.
First, have a conversations with them and explain the benefits of having an “Ah #!%@” coach. Share with them the six characteristics of an effective coach so they understand what to expect and then ask if they would like for you to be their coach. This is something that each child must choose.
Second, teach your children how to manage mistakes so they understand how you will work with them when they have an “Ah #!%@” moment.
Adventures in Wisdom uses a coaching story called, “The Weight of Mistakes” to teach kids about how to manage mistakes. In the story, Danny learns that when he carries his mistakes with him, it brings him down and causes him to make even more mistakes. Wyatt the Wise Wizard teaches Danny the “Five I’s of managing a mistake” and the importance of learning from it and letting it go.
Here are the “Five I’s of Managing a Mistake” from Adventures in Wisdom:
- I did it.
- I’m sorry.
- I’ll fix it.
- I learn from it.
- I let it go.
2. Do you want to find a certified child life coach for your child? Connect with a Coach!
There are hundreds of certified WISDOM Coaches in over 30 countries around the world who work with kids in person and online.
Use the “Connect with a Coach” form from Adventures in Wisdom to find a coach for the child in your life.
1.Complete the form about what you are looking for
2.WISDOM Coaches who believe they are a fit and have room in their schedule will reply to you with a proposal
3.You select a coach to connect with and make your decision
3. Do you want to be the Ah #!%@” coach for even more children? Get certified as a child life coach!
We’ve helped hundreds of people fulfil their purpose and help kids and families as certified WISDOM Coaches.
Click here to learn more about getting certified as a child life coach and creating a flexible business you love empowering kids and your own personal growth.
Want to see how coaching stories work?
Get a Free Coaching Story that teaches the mindset skill of positive self-talk.
Download a free coaching story that teaches kids about the WISDOM Power of positive self-talk.
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